TheChatter

TEXT- ROCK ON WITH THE CLASSIC LEGENDS OF THE 70'S

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Just For Laughs

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied

On This Day in History

April 23 Events: 1616 - William Shakespeare died. 1954 - Hank Aaron hits his first major league home run. 1956 - Elvis Presley makes his first appearance in Las Vegas, Nevada. 2001 - Intel introduces the Pentium 4 Processor

Famous Birthdays

April 23 Famous Birthdays: 1564 - William Shakespeare (Writer) 1791 - James Buchanan (15th US President) 1858 - Max Plank (Scientist) 1928 - Shirley Temple Black (Actress) 1936 - Roy Orbison (Singer) 1940 - Lee Majors (Actor) 1960 - Valerie Bertinelli (Actress) 1961 - George Lopez (Actor and comedian)

Where Did That Come From?

FLYING COLORS: If a fleet won a clear victory the ships would sail back to port with their colors proudly flying from their masts.

Betcha Didn't Know This!

The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust.

On the Light Side

A co-worker got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive-driving course to have points erased from her license. The instructor, a police officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began. Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?" The student replied, "I was trying not to get another ticket." The officer let her in.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?" One child answered, "Mary." The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?" A little kid said, "Verge." Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?" The kid said, "Well, you know, they are always talking about Verge n' Mary.''

Today’s Quote

Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value. –Albert Einstein

Thought for the Day

At my age, rolling out of bed in the morning is easy…getting up of the floor is another story.

Totally Useless Info

The earth is over 330,000 times smaller than the sun.

Strange Animal Facts

Blue whales are the loudest mammals, producing low-frequency “pulses” that can be heard from more than 500 miles away.

Stacked Funnies

YOU KNOW YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET WHEN: ** You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved, and you don't have a clue when it happened. **All of your friends have a @ in their names. ** You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem.

Here’s A Cute One

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

A Quick Chuckle

At breakfast, the husband says to his wife “What would you do if I won the Lotto?” “I’d take my half and leave you” she says. “Great” he says. “Here's . I won yesterday! Stay in touch.”