Just For Laughs

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage. Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?" The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

On This Day in History

April 26 Events: 1933 - The Gestapo, the official secret police force of Nazi Germany, is established. 1962 - NASA's Ranger 4 spacecraft crashes into the Moon. 1989 - Lucille Ball, of I Love Lucy fame, dies. 1994 - South Africa holds its first multiracial elections.

Famous Birthdays

April 26 Famous Birthdays: 121 - Marcus Aurelius (Roman Emperor) 570 - Muhammed (Founder of Islam) 1933 - Carol Burnett (Comedienne) 1960 - Roger Taylor (Drummer) 1962 - Michael Damian (Singer) 1963 - Jet Li (Actor and martial arts expert) 1977 - Jason Earls (Actor - Hannah Montana)

Where Did That Come From?

READ THE RIOT ACT: Following a law of 1715 if a rowdy group of 12 or more people gathered, a magistrate would read an official statement ordering them to disperse. Anyone who did not, after one hour, could be arrested and punished.

Betcha Didn't Know This!

Everything weighs one percent less at the equator.

On the Light Side

Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For Pete's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!"

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."