Just For Laughs

One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally retirees' behavior that was going on... So He called His angels and sent one to earth for a time. When the angel returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on earth; 95% of retirees are misbehaving and only 5% are not. God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.' So God called another angel and sent her to earth for a time. When the angel returned, she went to God and said, 'Yes, it's true. The earth is in decline; 95% of retirees are misbehaving, but 5% are being good.' God was not pleased. So God decided to e-mail the 5% who were good, because he wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going. Do you know what the e-mail said? Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either.

On This Day in History

April 24 Events: 1898 - Spain declares war on the United States starting the Spanish-American War. 1981 - The first IBM PC is introduced. 1990 - The Hubble Space Telescope is launched by the Space Shuttle Discovery.

Famous Birthdays

April 24 Famous Birthdays: 1934 - Shirley MacLaine (Actress) 1942 - Barbara Streisand (Singer) 1964 - Cedric the Entertainer (Actor) 1972 - Chipper Jones (Baseball player) 1982 - Kelly Clarkson (Singer and American Idol winner) 1992 - Doc Shaw (Actor from Pair of Kings) 1998 - Ryan Newman (Actress from Zeke and Luther)

Where Did That Come From?

GO TO POT: Any farm animal that had outlived its usefulness such as a hen that no longer laid eggs would literally go to pot. It was cooked and eaten.

Betcha Didn't Know This!

Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters.

On the Light Side

A new and inexperienced waitress tells another waitress she is concerned about being able to carry the heavy trays and serve from them. The other waitress explains that tray stands are placed throughout the restaurant. The nervous beginner serves all her lunches successfully, and afterwards asks an elderly couple if everything has been all right. "It was fine, dear," replies the man, "but my wife and I have to leave now. Could she please have her walker back?"

Kids Say the Darndest Things

After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."